For some reason, there arent any tears falling. It's probably because i know he isn't suffering anymore. That thought is probably the only thing that's keeping me from crying i guess. I know it sounds really pathetic since he's just a damn gerbil and some of you probably killed off dozens of hamsters without as much as a squeak. But Pepsi's been with us from 3 years now and well.. it's hard to let him go just like that.
I didn't blog about Pepsi's progress because it pretty much kills me off just thinking about it. He had this infection around his genital area due to the poop sticking around that area and him not being able to get it off because of his broken leg. So the dirt and everything accumulated and became a nasty infection. It made me so sad just watching him. I would get up everyday and feed him this food i made myself from all the nutritious stuff he wud need to get his energy levels up. Guess my efforts weren't good enough.. sigh. I didn't know i would feel this horrible.
This is the first time i dealt with a real death. I had a litter of hamsters once and they all died. They were still babies though and i didn't reli feel much. Of course, this doesn't mean im some unfeeling rodent killer but well my gerbils are special okay.
I bet Cola is feeling just as crushed as i am. He's been really lonely living all alone in my room so im thinking of bringing his tank down here so he can see us everyday : ) Pepsi's death affected his too. He's not been running around much lately and keeps snuggling up on Arwah Pepsi's area. ('arwah' is the term muslims use to refer to someone who has passed on)
I guess it's all already fated. God wants to take his life and end his suffering and i thank Him for that. So much. I didn't know how long i could handle watching his pain.
I guess when you looks after something for some time, the love sort of grows on you unconsciously. It's hard to grasp the fact that nature will always have to take it's course no matter what you do. When it's time, there's just nothing you can do to stop it.
In memory of Pepsi,
For always being the cuddly, squeaky little furry friend he was.
May you rest in peace. Forever and always.
